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| Training and Expectations To me child training involves much more than just discipline methods. Methods are important and understanding some of the basics in raising children is important. The struggle of wills, establishing who is the authority in the house, learning to obey at young ages without complaining or asking questions (I can't begin to think of the number of young mothers who actually discuss with their 2 year old "why" it is important to put their coat on when they are trying to go outside). My children have known that Dad and I are the final authority in the home. It is important that children don't see themselves has running the household. I have looked at each discipline issue as an opportunity to teach my children to respect authority and to train them in some valuable lesson. Besides just discipline methods there is training. Children need to be trained in proper and correct behavior. There are many different areas to train a child and much depends on the child’s age. A baby should very early on learn how to sit on moms lap and how to be quiet, sleep through the night (some pick this up without any extra training needed) and this type of thing. As they get older they learn to sit and listen as mom or dad reads a story and how to be quiet when they play inside and to know that outside is for running and playing and being loud. An older child should know not to interrupt a conversation and how to answer the phone and how to play with other children. They need to be trained to be respectful and obey. They need to be trained to help with chores, keep their rooms cleaned, how to wake up in the morning and get themselves going with out nagging and complaining from mom and how to be a help in the house. I do not feel that a child will naturally pick up any of these things on their own, they need to be trained, told, shown, reminded and ‘expected’ to meet certain requirements. One example of a certain requirement that I had was that my children from young ages were to sit quietly in church. I had very few problems with them being quiet in church. I trained them at home to sit quietly when told and we practiced this often. I had expectations that my children would be quiet and I worked with them, training them until they achieved this. If a mother expects that their child will be noisy in church, then they will! :) Child training involves a mom (and dad, I am just speaking to moms), who is willing to work with their child until they see the results they desire. Raising a child becomes a much more enjoyable job once a child is trained in basic fundamental areas. Children are always much happier when they know what is expected of them. It is important to have high expectations of your children, at least higher than much of the “norm” that I tend to see today. If a mom is willing to yell 5 or 6 times for their child to do something before taking action they are training the child that they have 5 or 6 ‘yells’ before they have to move and do. The higher expectation would be that you call (not yell) once and they come. It is a big job to achieve this, I can attest to that! But your life with your children will become a blessing to you if you spend the time training your children and establishing that you are the authority and that your word is final and that you mean what you say. Don’t look at bad behavior and expect that this is “normal” or “just a stage” but I encourage you to take the time and effort to train your children in proper behavior and you will reap blessings upon blessings in your home, and enjoyment with your children when you are out and about. © 2003, Crystal Miller |