Feelings of Inadequacy
Crystal Miller

Have you ever had moments in your life where you, as a homemaker, feel inadequate in this chosen role of stay-at-home-wife?  I had one of those moments not long ago.  My husband and I were at our credit union applying for a loan and when the question came up about whether or not my name should be on the loan, the loan officer said, “Well you don’t work right? So you don’t need to be on the loan because you don’t have an income.”  Or translated by me, “You have no worth in this whole thing, so therefore you are of no consequence”.  Maybe I took it wrong, but there I was the sweet little wife at her husband’s side, talking with a nice, but “professional” career woman feeling rather small and inadequate.  I share this story with you all because I know there are other women who have similar moments in their life, who struggle with these things too; maybe once in awhile or maybe often. 

After my husband and I left the office I talked with him about the way that made me feel. He helped bring back my focus where it should be and encouraged me to write this article on the subject. In our discussion I realized how quickly I had forgotten the value of my life!  I needed to reflect on the true reality of the situation and to see it from God’s point of view.  I had lost my focus on the Lord and His ways for a moment. 

Being a homemaker for me is following the Lord’s design for women.  I know some women must work and I know women whose heart is at home but they, for circumstances beyond their control, are not able to be at home. My message today is not a judgment to any of you in these situations, but rather an encouragement for those homemakers that are home. 

As I read Scripture I see that that Lord has given both men and women unique roles in life.  They are different yet both needed and both have great value.  We can see God’s plan for man and woman in the book of Genesis.  When God sent Adam and Eve out of the garden he assigned them their roles.  Adam was to till the field and Eve to have the babies. God gives women more glimpses into this homemaking role in other Scriptures.  In 1 Timothy we see the basic plan for women: 1 Tim. 5:14 “Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully”.  In Titus 2 vs. 4 & 5 we read: “that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”  Proverbs 31 is a beautiful picture of the homemaker living out her God given position to its’ fullest potential.

As a homemaker you have great influence in your home.  You can create an environment that is the sanctuary for your husband to come home to.  A homemaker has the ability to be a wife whose husband will praise her for the asset she is to him and to the family (Proverbs 31:28).   Proverbs 31:10 says her worth is “far above rubies” and Proverbs 12:4 says “an excellent wife is the crown of her husband”.   The wife at home, loving, caring, cooking, cleaning, respecting and honoring her husband will create a home that builds, encourages and strengthens her husband and this builds strong families.

As a mother at home you influence your children more than you realize.  You have heard of the saying “The hand the rocks the cradle rules the world”?  How true this is!  The home you create can be a place of love, care and security for your children. The home is a place for them to learn from you the basics in life skills. They will learn to apply wisdom in their own life from your example and develop character qualities that will enable them to become productive adults who will go out into this world and create strong families for themselves.  Your time at home with your children is their spiritual training time. You are there to teach them the Scriptures and the love of Jesus not only by your words but by being the hands, feet and heart that Jesus can work through. 

Only a devoted homemaker can bring this kind of love to the home.  I have seen the articles where they find the value of a homemaker by calculating the hourly cost of hiring someone to do the jobs and tasks that encompass her role.  However the value of what I have shared with you today cannot be bought.  There is no price tag for this because it is priceless.  You won’t find a housekeeper willing to work tirelessly for the good of your home; you won’t find a day care worker willing to sacrifice for the betterment of your child. You will not be able to pay someone to dedicate their life and their love to your family for today and the building up of your family for the benefit of tomorrow. These are the values that no amount of money can attain.

As you go through life there will be times that those feelings of inadequacy creep up on you.  It may be something said by someone, not meaning to offend, as was the case for me.  It may be an article you read, the neighbor talking about her career, your own family members or former co-works wondering why you have made the choice to stay home.  However these feelings make their way into your life don’t let them cloud the value and importance of your life.  Do not let this rob you of how the Lord looks on you and your role! He created you to fulfill this role in your home for your family.  Don’t let these times allow you to lose site of the worthy investment you are making into the lives of your family. 

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